Why High-Performing Women Are the Favourite Target of Narcissists

Why High-Performing Women Are the Favourite Target of Narcissists

And what your body already knows that your mind is still trying to explain.

There is a pattern I see again and again in the women who come to me.

They are accomplished. Intelligent. Driven. Often in leadership positions — CEOs, directors, founders, executives. They have built something real. They know how to perform under pressure. They know how to hold a room.

And somewhere along the way, someone got very close to them and began dismantling exactly that.

Not all at once. Slowly. Subtly. In the way that only someone deeply skilled at manipulation can do — by targeting precisely the qualities that make a high-performing woman exceptional.

Her empathy. Her standards. Her desire to understand. Her commitment to getting it right. Her ability to hold space for others.

These are not weaknesses. They are strengths. But in the hands of a narcissist — in a boardroom, in a partnership, in a marriage — they become the entry points.

Why you?

This is the question I hear most often.

Why me? I am not naive. I am not weak. I know people. I have built a career on reading rooms, navigating complexity, leading teams. How did I not see this?

Here is what I want you to understand:

You were not targeted because you were weak. You were targeted because you were strong.

Narcissists are drawn to high-performing women the way moths are drawn to light. Not to admire it — to consume it. Your clarity makes them feel powerful when they cloud it. Your confidence makes them feel significant when they shake it. Your competence makes them feel necessary when they undermine it.

You were chosen because of what you carry — not despite it.

What happens in the body

This is where most people miss it.

We talk about narcissistic abuse in terms of psychology. The gaslighting.
The push and pull. The confusion. The way reality starts to bend. And yes — all of that is real.

But the body knows first.

Before your mind finds the language, before you can explain what is happening, before you even have a word for it — your body is already responding.

Your jaw tightens. Your breath becomes shallow. You stop sleeping through the night. You feel a low hum of anxiety that you cannot locate. Your shoulders carry something you cannot name. You look in the mirror and the eyes that look back feel tired in a way that rest does not fix.

This is not stress. This is your nervous system under sustained attack.

And here is the cruelest part: high-performing women are often the last to recognize it. Because they have spent years learning how to push through.
How to perform. How to stay composed under pressure. How to override the body's signals in service of the goal.

So when the body sends the signal — something is wrong here — they do what they have always done.

They push through.

They try harder. They communicate better. They adapt. They work to understand. They give the benefit of the doubt. They wonder if they are the problem.

They have been trained their whole lives to do exactly this. And it is exactly what keeps them in the dynamic longer than they should be.

The moment everything changes

In my work with leaders and executives, I have seen this moment many times.

It is not a dramatic revelation. It is quieter than that.

It is the moment a woman stops fighting her body's signal and starts listening to it.

When she stops asking "why does this keep happening?" and starts asking "what is my body trying to tell me?"

Because the body already knows. It knew long before the mind was ready to hear it.

The body keeps the score of every moment you were made to feel small.
Every sentence that landed like a blow. Every time your reality was rearranged without your consent. Every smile you performed when something inside you was breaking.

It is all still there. In your jaw. In your shoulders. In your nervous system.
In the eyes that lost their light.

And it can be released.

Not through more analysis. Not through more understanding of why they did what they did. Not through another conversation trying to explain yourself to someone who will never truly hear you.

Through the body. Through breath. Through movement. Through reconnection with the part of you that was never broken — even when everything around you said otherwise.

This is where I come in

I work with high-performing women — leaders, executives, entrepreneurs — who are navigating or recovering from narcissistic dynamics. In the boardroom. In their partnerships. Often in both at once.

My work combines embodiment, the Yoga4Face® method, nervous system regulation, and the Smile Revolution — a process of returning to your own body, your own truth, and your real smile.

Not the smile you performed to keep the peace.

Your real smile. The one that tells you — and everyone in the room — that you have come back to yourself.

If you are reading this and something in your body just said yes — that is your signal.

Begin with my free 4 Magic Moves™ at reneeambarees.com — four short body-based practices to help you come back to yourself, anywhere, anytime.

Or book a private Clarity Call with me. We will find out together where you are — and what the next step home looks like for you.

Your body already knows the way back. Your smile is your key.

Renée Ambarees Founder, Yoga4Face® | Creator of the Smile Revolution | Leadership & Embodiment Coach reneeambarees.com